Scaredy Cat

This morning I woke up at 6am to get my run in before work. My usual work day routine involves me begrudgingly rolling out of bed and getting ready half asleep at 7:30 am. You can only imagine how thrilled I was to be up before the sun. I made sure I had my blinking light strapped to my waistband and off I went. I was a little nervous running in total darkness but my neighborhood is very safe so I had nothing to really worry about. On tap for today was a 3 mile tempo run, and there is nothing like a wild imagination to scare you into running faster. I was weary of every moving shadow and even screamed when a cyclist zoomed by me. Flashforwards of me getting snatched off the side of the road, and leaving my iPod at the sceneof the crime so my Mom could use her CSI skills to find me filled my mind. So faster I ran. I even ran a longer way home because I knew there were more street lights. When I finished I felt foolish at my overwhelming sense of relief. I had managed to survive getting run down by a crazed motorist and foiled any attackers who were trying to catch me, all in my mind. The reality was everyone was in their beds except for the sleepy high schoolers waiting for the bus. I had managed to scare myself with my gruesome, sometimes outlandish imagination. I can only laugh and wish myself and everyone else a very fun, safe and Happy Halloween!

Blast From the Past

Another 4 miler was on the schedule for today and I headed to Bayshore after work and a quick Target stop. I pulled in the parking lot and noticed a familiar group of cars. The girls cross country team and my coach from my high school were out on a run. I was so excited, thinking I would get a chance to see my old coach who was like a 2nd father to me my 4 years of high school. I started my run all the while looking ahead of me to see if I could spot the familiar pack of runners making their way their way up the grass. I started to approach my turn around and began to get nervous. If I hadn't crossed paths with them by now, then they will be behind me! AH! Now I had to kick it into gear so this tall skinny mustached man and his pack of seven 100 lb. girls can't catch me. It was as if I was running for my life. My hearing went into extra sensory mode and I swear I could hear the shuffle of their feet and the sounds of their breath catching me. I finished, running the 2nd half of the run much faster than I had intended to, and had not been caught. I looked behind me and they were about a 1/3 of a mile behind me. My victory however, was short lived because I realized that they probably ran 6 compared to my 4 measly miles. It's funny to think that even now as a 23 year old the thought of my cross country coach and the pack catching up to me on a run still puts the fear of God in my heart, just like it did when I was 15.

Loving running.....for now anyways.

Today I had a 4 miler and decided to hit Bayshore for my run. I couldn't help but think how lucky I was to have such a gorgeous place to run. My iPod shuffle knew exactly what songs I wanted to hear (Backstreet Boys and ABBA were 2 favs!) and I was having one of those workouts where I was loving being a runner. I relaxed my shoulders and really concentrated on my stride and imagined myself looking this pulled together come race day, I hope. I noticed all the different runners, with individual goals and reasons for running. Those just starting out, those wondering what the hell they were thinking registering for that upcoming race, and those strapped up with fuel belts just trying to log those miles. I saw myself in each one of them. I know there are going to be days when I really don't want to be out there, and there are going to be days when my mileage seems endless. I will have to remember the good runs, forget the bad and be inspired by the great. I will look to my fellow runners and peers on the pavement when the miles seem endless and the goal too great. It hit me today that I am actually going to do this, the race is no longer an abstract thought. I am actually going to run this marathon and have already set in motion the steps to get there.

Will Run for Beer too!

I couldn't have asked for a more fun way to kick-off to my training! Oddly enough Mondays are my days off during my training so yesterday I was able to relax, and remind myself that I need to take it easy when I can. I have a long fews months ahead of me! Today was my first official run that just happened to coincide with my running club Holloween Costume Fun Run! We have a group that meets every Tuesday night at a local Irish Pub, Four Green Fields, and we run a 5K then stay for beers and food. It also gives us stereotypically loner runners a chance to socialize. In honor of Holloween a few of us dressed up, I went with the 80's runner look and donned of super loud jungle spandex leggings. They were eye catching to say the least, but not too fun to run in when it's still 80 degrees outside. I did survive and managed to even break a PR with my running buddy Patrick. Every week we try to run just a little bit faster, with thoughts of ice cold beers at the finish keeping us inspired. We finished just before the rain storm and enjoyed Blue Moons with the rest of our fellow runners. Power outages didn't deter anyone from having a good time, but did make the bar smell a little more ripe than usual. Marathon training is real tough when you run with friends in costumes and are rewarded with beers at the end, but I am ready and willing. I have a feeling I will need to remember this day and remind myself how much I enjoyed running a few weeks down the road.

Why I Am Running.

Before my 18 week adventure and 26.2 mile trip across the finish line begins I want everyone to know why I run and why I have decided to take on this challenge. This race is much more than an insanely long run and a medal at the finish line. It is a journey, that for me began five and half months ago….

In May my life and the life of my family changed forever. My mother was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer and it is an understatement to describe our reaction as devastated. Yes I knew she had felt a lump in her left breast and there had been spots on her mammogram. Yes, I was aware of her biopsy the week before. Was I prepared to walk into my house that evening and hear the word “Cancer”, no I was not. Me and my sister held my Mom and cried, not believing that this could be happening to us. Afraid for her and the fight she had ahead.

After the initial shock all I wanted was to start the process of getting my Mom well again. Approvals from insurance for scans and surgeries were wasting time and I couldn’t help but thinking of this cancer as a ticking time bomb. I wanted the fear that my entire family was living in to go away. I went into survival mode and after my freak out that first night I decided to be strong in front of everyone. I needed to be strong for my Mom because her world was crumbling, I needed to be strong for my Dad because he was the one my Mom was most relying on, and I needed to be strong for my sisters because they needed some one to look to for comfort and assurance.

That’s when running came into play and became an even more important aspect of my life. It was a time when I could really think about and feel all of my emotions. For a while that was my time to have a melt down. I felt so camouflaged with my sunglasses, Ipod and hat that I could just let it all out. I would literally go on my 5 mile runs and cry the whole time. I could then come home and deal with the pain and uncertainty we were all living with and tackle it head on. After a while though, the crying stopped and the strength kicked in. I would go on my morning runs and think about the success of my Mom’s double mastectomy, her heroics during her rounds of chemo therapy and I would feel inspired. I was so proud of her and I wanted her to feel pride for me too.

Our lives have adapted and we are now a family living with cancer. Chemo, shots, and blood tests are apart of my Mom’s life and a part of our everyday vocabulary. I have learned more about breast cancer than I ever care to know. I am automatically drawn to scarf section, to see if there is anything my Mom would look cute in. I look forward to the day when I can look back and think of the past few months as a mere bump in the road that brought my family closer together.

Now starts my long trek towards the finish line, and it is going to take me about 18 weeks of training to get there, but I am ready to meet the challenge. I am steeling a mantra from my Mom/Tim Tebow with a promise to “Finish Strong”. So I am selfishly starting this blog to not only to motivate myself to keep going even when the road is hard, but to hopefully inspire others to do the same.

On your mark, get set, GO!