Why I Am Running.

Before my 18 week adventure and 26.2 mile trip across the finish line begins I want everyone to know why I run and why I have decided to take on this challenge. This race is much more than an insanely long run and a medal at the finish line. It is a journey, that for me began five and half months ago….

In May my life and the life of my family changed forever. My mother was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer and it is an understatement to describe our reaction as devastated. Yes I knew she had felt a lump in her left breast and there had been spots on her mammogram. Yes, I was aware of her biopsy the week before. Was I prepared to walk into my house that evening and hear the word “Cancer”, no I was not. Me and my sister held my Mom and cried, not believing that this could be happening to us. Afraid for her and the fight she had ahead.

After the initial shock all I wanted was to start the process of getting my Mom well again. Approvals from insurance for scans and surgeries were wasting time and I couldn’t help but thinking of this cancer as a ticking time bomb. I wanted the fear that my entire family was living in to go away. I went into survival mode and after my freak out that first night I decided to be strong in front of everyone. I needed to be strong for my Mom because her world was crumbling, I needed to be strong for my Dad because he was the one my Mom was most relying on, and I needed to be strong for my sisters because they needed some one to look to for comfort and assurance.

That’s when running came into play and became an even more important aspect of my life. It was a time when I could really think about and feel all of my emotions. For a while that was my time to have a melt down. I felt so camouflaged with my sunglasses, Ipod and hat that I could just let it all out. I would literally go on my 5 mile runs and cry the whole time. I could then come home and deal with the pain and uncertainty we were all living with and tackle it head on. After a while though, the crying stopped and the strength kicked in. I would go on my morning runs and think about the success of my Mom’s double mastectomy, her heroics during her rounds of chemo therapy and I would feel inspired. I was so proud of her and I wanted her to feel pride for me too.

Our lives have adapted and we are now a family living with cancer. Chemo, shots, and blood tests are apart of my Mom’s life and a part of our everyday vocabulary. I have learned more about breast cancer than I ever care to know. I am automatically drawn to scarf section, to see if there is anything my Mom would look cute in. I look forward to the day when I can look back and think of the past few months as a mere bump in the road that brought my family closer together.

Now starts my long trek towards the finish line, and it is going to take me about 18 weeks of training to get there, but I am ready to meet the challenge. I am steeling a mantra from my Mom/Tim Tebow with a promise to “Finish Strong”. So I am selfishly starting this blog to not only to motivate myself to keep going even when the road is hard, but to hopefully inspire others to do the same.

On your mark, get set, GO!